Things that freak me out...

THE PORT:  The port site is really bothering me.  I feel like an alien is trying to come out of my chest.  It's finally healing, and the bruising is now mostly yellow, and I don't care at all about the scars, but the lump on my chest just freaks me out.

So I ordered a bunch of temporary tattoos.  I'm going to put them opposite the port.  No one will see them.  But I'll know they're there, and it'll make me feel more balanced.  I bought Mickey tattoos, scripture, some pretty crosses, and I think some Olaf tattoos.  They will only last a few days, but they'll make me feel better.  I'm a weirdo.  There was no denying that!


The Rituxan freak out day is behind me, so I'm feeling good about that.

THE HAIR:  I know it's coming.   I'm generally a calm person.  So "freak out" is probably not exactly the right term.  My mother would have been saying "PANIC!!"  I mean freak out more in the way that I keep thinking about it.

My sister has been whipping up hats.  She's a prolific crocheter.  I've bought hats (a cool Yankees one!).  It's a challenge, because my head is ginormous.  I bought a sun hat for the DR, and was so deflated when the XL size was still too small.  I'll keep trying.

I have plans to cut my hair shorter - just a stepping stone toward no hair.  Need to do that soon.

I know it's coming.  I pull on my hair (Nancy made me yank on it yesterday LOL) and it's still intact.  Another week and that'll change.  Even though I'm not at all vain, and never look at myself in the mirror, I know this will be a challenge for me.


OH, AND CHEMO:  There are toxic chemicals shooting through my body.  That can't be good, right?