Random Thoughts #2

I have an obsession with red meat and waffles (not together - ewwww).  Realize I haven't mentioned that before, but I want to eat waffles every day, and red meat is always on my mind.  I've never been that big a red meat eater, so this is weird.  I'm just going ahead and eating what my body wants.  I can worry about the weight later....because there will be weight to worry about, for sure!! I'm just hungry all day, and eating something makes me feel better, almost as if I'll get a little queasy if I don't eat.


I have cramps in my calves several days after chemo each time.  Just realized the connection today.  Not bad, just makes me need to stretch them a bit.  Strange side effect.


No prednisone today - finished it yesterday for this round, and I'm happier already.

The fatigue hump was much much bigger this time around.  I felt energized and did a lot of stuff on Friday, but Saturday and Sunday were rough and I couldn't manage to do much of anything.  I went for Reiki on Saturday at the hospital (free!) and that was really much more lovely and relaxing than I'd anticipated (already scheduled for next round).  Sunday I went to church, and couldn't even stand for the hymns at all, and left as soon as church was over without saying a word to anyone.  VERY strange for me!


There's a strange thing around the whole baldness/hat/wig culture.  I've talked to a few people about it.  I wear a hat almost all day.  I take it off if I'm alone (or just with family) but I feel awkward in front of ANYONE (except Robbie) without something covering my head.  I still have a bit of fuzz on my head (in a funny combination of colors).  I'd expected to be shiny bald by now.  But regardless, I feel like I have to keep my head covered to protect other people from having to see the evidence of my experience.  I know what I'm going through.  But other people don't need the smack in the face of it, y'know?  I find myself feeling apologetic a lot about my baldness, my fatigue, etc.  Why do I feel the need to protect everyone else from my experience?  I'm not ordinarily that nice of a person.  HAHA  It's strange.  As it gets hotter out, and in the DR (when I'll still be just fuzzy), it's going to be hard to have a hat on ALL the time - HOT.  I am going to have to figure that out in a way that makes me feel comfortable...if that's possible.

I'm going to go eat waffles now.  I deserve them.