It's just going to happen. I will have some Eeyore days. I'm an optimist. Eeyore days aren't something I generally embrace. But I'm determined to embrace them when they come, and allow myself the experience.
I'm a strong person. I also cry at commercials. Those two things can coexist (and do, in me). But I generally don't wallow. I'd say I've had a couple of mornings where I've just wallowed and cried. At first I was trying to tell myself to get over it, and stay strong, and all of that crap. Then I decided that I need to allow myself to feel every emotion that comes my way through this process. Still...yesterday morning...when it hit me...I felt I needed to apologize to Michael for the tears. He told me to stop apologizing (which was hard).
Meanwhile, I am also working really hard at just accepting that I'm not as strong as I always have been. I get tired. I don't feel 100%. I suspect you're thinking "No duh." But it doesn't come easily to me. So when I said that maybe Meghan and Robbie shouldn't come over tonight, I felt awful about it (and apologized). Need to work on that, too!
(I have a sneaking suspicion that the prednisone is affecting my moods. Both of my Eeyore days have come mid-prednisone. I'm going to track this going forward, and then I'll have something to blame....other than the fact that I have cancer and am going through chemo. LOL)
I'm embracing my dark side. HAHAHA
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
-
I was heading into today with some dread, and not just because of the recovery I know I'm facing. I can handle that. Not fun, but I ca... -
Well, it's actually just a power port. But it feels better to say SUPER POWER!!! (And obviously it must be all caps.) Thanks to my de... -
My mother had myelofibrosis (a blood disorder) and my father had lymphoma (large cell, which is scarier than my version). I have lymphoma. ...
You are on a ride you can’t control. The good news is it will end and you will get back to normal - well, your normal. 😜 ❤️❤️❤️
ReplyDelete💓
ReplyDeleteEeyore days are ok once in a while. You are an incredibly unique & amazing woman, & the treatment must be so hard on your body that in order for it to destroy the cancer, it drains your energy. So cry if you need to my friend. Your spirit will remain strong. I am sorry you are going through this. But as you said, you are halfway there. I am praying for you each day. Looking forward to seeing you as a redhead! You've got a lot of living to do💖🙏
ReplyDelete